Sunday, September 8, 2013

Clever little game of Cat and Mouse

I found myself wondering after 2 days of being pissy with my Husband, why do I make him chase me and make terrible assumptions of what I may be needing or wanting from him... I know that he WANTS to be there and help me in anyway possible.... He like every male out there just wants to, "fix it"..... I say I'm hungry.... He says, "you want me to go get you something" I say I'm tired.... He says, "do you want me to take the baby and you can nap" well, YEAH, I do want you to do those things.... However, reality says.... Nope, you have an 8 year old, a 22 month old, a full time job and a Husband.... What I REALLY want to happen is this: I say what I need and him say, "hunny, you work so hard and I notice everything you do for me and the boys... You're amazing and I don't know how you do it" I would basically be married to a woman or Jesus to get THAT type of response..... I am not gay and Jesus is not dating at the moment....

So, the question is: why do we make them chase us? When they want to fix everything so badly. I will tell you why... In my very blunt and honest opinion. We are by genetic code, whiny bitchy human beings.... We want want want want. We want them to just know what's wrong with us. In my cluster mess of a broken, fleshy, female brain I honestly think, "why does he have to ask what's wrong?!?! Is he a moron, isn't it obvious?!?!" Well, no, it isn't. Not to them, at least. I find myself having imaginary conversations in my head, like how I intend for a conversation with my husband (or others to be honest) to take place... When he doesn't start the, "real" conversation like he started it in the imaginary one in my head, fires already been started and I'm crazy lady... And the poor guy had no clue he was suppose to ask me, for example: why I was upset he chose a pizza buffet for lunch after church today and would I prefer Mexican Food...here is what happened today: he asked, I told him to pick knowing good and well I wanted Mexican food....Yet, I still want him to just know. Then it turns into this terrible hissy fit by me... All because he didn't just know. It's like I want him to chase me... I honestly think because that chase is what started the relationship and we get bored in the "monotone" section of our marriage.

This is not how it should be, yet... Tonight when I want him to just know that I'm tired and overwhelmed from an impending audit at work and moving.... And he doesn't just know...I'm going to make him chase me for the answer to, "what's wrong?" I will finally tell him... But, not before I make him suffer a bit for merely being a one track minded man and not just knowing. 

I hope I can correct this one day, and just expect that ... This is honestly how a guys brain works. They honest to God do not get it. You MUST draw a picture for them. You want them to unload the dishwasher. Ask them. You want them to take out the trash. Ask them. Tell them directly what you NEED from them when you need it... You're setting yourself up for a miserable marriage for you both, if you don't. My husband literally told me today, "If I had editing on my phone ... I'd video the baby swinging his arms and edit in light sabers, then he would look like a Jedi Knight in training... You always wonder what's going on in my head, it's usually stuff like that" yup.... After that it hit me, bam..... We can think of a million things at one time... They MAYBE can think of two... I was talking about how we would never raise the boys in Houston.... Blah blah blah... He's thinking of turning our 22 month old into a Jedi.. George Lucas would be proud, but I just realized I'm married to a 10 year old trapped in a 27 year old man body lol... Seriously though, lets give our men a break and throw em' a bone every now and again.... Here's a crazy thought: lets just tell them what's on our mind and what we need as their wives. 

Ephesians 4:2-3 
2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 
We should be trying harder to keep the unity, that's what makes us a couple.... A whole. Unity. I know I should try a little harder, at least. 
#christian1rants

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